Kanyadaan is considered to be the biggest daan (donation). In this ceremony, the parents of the bride hand over their beloved daughter to the bride groom and his family with the assurance that they will take proper care of her. i have a little problem here with the term "daan" or "donation". Lemme put it this way. What do we donate? or lets say give daan as? maybe food items? money? clothes? or sometimes animals?
Let me make it clear for my readers and the "so called" followers of traditions and customs that this is not an attempt to make a mockery of any tradition or custom. On the contrary, i wish to ask you all if the term "kanyadaan" is suitable? Doesnt it objectify a women who is to be given as a "daan"?
In the earlier times women were subjected to homes. They were not allowed to step out of their homes and thus they were a burden on their families since they were not an earning member. But today things have changed. Women have crossed the border line and they are now much better equipped in terms of education and earning a livelihood. In the background of all this, i wish to ask everyone, is the concept of daan still relevant?
Is the term "kanyaadaan" justified? I am still seeking an answer to this question...
4 comments:
I see your point. You are saying that Kanyadaan as a tradition shoudl not be followed. The ceremony is not about 'donating' teh girl. Its about the girl's parents making sure that their daughter is being taken care of. They are not handing over the 'girl' but the responsibility!
Kamikaze,
I am not saying that this tradition should not be allowed. I think you are not getting my point. What i want to say that the term "kanyadaan" is nto justified. I eman "daan" is related to donation. In the earlier times, the basic belief was that the groom is brahman and bride is given to him as a daan. That is where i have a problem. I want to do away with the term "Kanyadaan"
You wanna do away with the term 'kanyadaan'...then what do you wanna call it?....Don't just keep putting up questions, have an answer too....The world is already filled up with enough questions/problems with no answers/solutions......
Moreover, how come you're objectifying every daan....you..and not just you..even me have very little and scantly knowledge about our rituals/traditions/customs...and the rationale behind doing them the way they're done.....so before questioning our traditions first get your facts clear...I suggest consult ancient scriptures, talk to people who have read them.....and then comment on these terms......
Btw...for your information, among the four (I'm not sure about the number though - U see I'm spiritually challenged myself) duties a man must perform before death, one of them is called..."Pitridaan"..meaning to be a father...to give a son/daughter to this world before you leave.....So, in this sense, are they objectifying everyone person on this planet when they say this....our scriptures cannot make such a big mistake.....
So before objecting to the term....do your homework a little more....and try to know the exact reason why it is used.
Kshitij,
In the very beginning, lemme put some light on the term "Pitridaan". Infact the right term is "Pitripaksh". That is the period in which you do pitridaan by which you offer puja and food to your ancestors who have died. Its a way of showing respect to them and offer them prayers, So please be clear on that aspect first.
Secondly, before writing this blog i already did my homework relating to the concept of Kanyadaan. The basic concept was to give away your daughter & the responsibility to the groom's family as the groom was considered a "Brahmin" and this was supposed to be the biggest daan a father makes.
In the earlier times, the notion was "doli main jao, arthi main aao" wherein the girl once married will not come back to her home unless she is dead. She would be treated as a guest. She was supposed to be a burden who needed a support, either her father and then later her husband and then her children. But i am sure you would agree tht we have come above all those unreasonable customs.
I am not questioning our scriptures and customs. My suggestion is that one should change with time. In the present day scenario, the term kanyadaan holds no relevance as women are no more a burden who need to be tied to a support system. And in that context, one can move along with time and situation.
And who am i to decide what should be the alternative? i am an individual who is free to express opinions. It now depends on the preachers of the customs to decide what should be the future course of action.
religion, customs & traditions are very important for a society but they should not become a hindrance in the development of a society. Thats all!!! Hope this helps ;)
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