Is mentioning the "D" word a taboo?

Often we talk about marriage and its significance in our lives but it’s also important that we also discuss the intricacies of the separation as it’s a right provided to all men and women on different grounds to separate if the marriage is not considered happy. Though it is still looked upon as a social evil, the law permits a couple to separate ways on mutual grounds. But in the Indian society, a marriage is not only between two individuals but between two families and thus even a mention of the term “divorce” is seen as a taboo to a great extent.

In many areas and mostly the rural, we observe that women are somewhat ill treated but it is only a very small percentage of women who initiate for separation. Perhaps, they can never put their foot down to the injustices around. Even after the Government passes the Domestic Violence Bill(2006) which even considers verbal abuse as a sort of violence against women, have things changed? Or maybe, this section of women is just scared to voice their disgust and frustration.

I can find an answer to this in Amartya Sen’s theory of “Adaptive Preference” that explains that any individual and mainly referring to women here make decisions or choices in deprived circumstances in response to their restricted options. Thus, many women in the rural areas or even urban areas can’t find the courage to initiate a step like divorce because they are not sure what life would be on the other side. It will end up in a complete humiliation and boycott on part of the family for the woman who seeks to separate from her husband. But that's one section of the population.

However, we also need to look at the other side of the coin. Today women in India have become much more conscious and independent of their rights and duties than they had been many years back. We surely need to look holistically but we can’t ignore that section of the women population that is brimming with confidence today and no longer require a man’s name to identify them. But things don't always have to be at extreme. Marriage, as i believe is a journey full of compromises from both sides and the time it gets one sided, it starts deteriorating.

Can we call ourselves a "disciplined" lot?

Ever since i started going to school, or maybe even before that, the word "discipline" has been like a staple diet for me and for many more kids who grow up listening to verses from their parents, teachers, elders that we need to be disciplined in order to be a good human being. We are taught to make timetables and follow them, things like, early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy & wise. Right from putting the school bag at the right place, to eating meals on time, coming back home before its dark to finishing home work and then going to bed by 9. Seems like a roller-coaster ride in itself. Is this what we call discipline?

My question is not whether the present generation has grown up to be a disciplined lot but whether the "so-called" preachers of discipline can be called "disciplinarians" in themselves? It is well said, one must practice what they preach. But do we? We don't leave any single opportunity to spread our so called "gyaan" to people around us but when it comes to our own self, we don't even consider it a passing reference and do what we feel is right.

To take a small example, more than 75% of us would never make the effort of looking out for a dustbin or a garbage can to throw the leftover of the huge amounts of eatables that we indulge in right we step out of our homes. We find it more convenient to throw it on the road or outside the window while in the car or leave it in the park and move ahead. This attitude is very synonymous with our country, who seems to be ignoring and leaving behind the problems as they were and thriving to move ahead. But can we ever move ahead like this? Won't something always hold us back?

On my visit to London this time, i realized that it is the patience that we lack amongst ourselves. From standing in the que in a shopping mart to driving in a lane to inculcating within oneself a sense of consciousness and civic sense. I felt very uncomfortable in the beginning to get adjusted to this new place as we like to be happy in our own laid back attitude. Sometimes i felt as if these people have been taught how to stand in a line since they were kids. At every occasion, where there was huge amounts of rush, they would form a line and wait patiently. Maybe that is the reason that i couldn't really find too many slums, beggars and hunger on the streets of London. i am not denying that such a thing does not exist. I am sure it does but the beauty is in concealing the problems, not ignoring them. We are culturally much more stronger than any other country. What we need today is patience and a sense of self awareness and civic sense. And when that happens, this country, which is home to so many cultures, traditions and customs will be one of the most happening places in the world.

It is true that i kept losing patience at every step, owing to my own laid back attitude but at the end of my trip i did learn that somewhere each one of us has to change our attitude within ourselves than to go about advocating a mass change programme.

Back from a Sabbatical!!!

Haven't really been finding time to sit down and update my blog for quite some time. Have been tied up with various things in life and the thought of sitting down to voice my opinion on any issue seemed like a distant dream for past few days, mainly owing to professional and personal commitments that sometimes seem to be going out of bounds.

It's been a couple of months and sometimes feels like a sabbatical from my own world of blogs. I realized the significance of having a blog spot during my recent visit to London. I met a lot of people belonging to various professional walks of life and on a close interaction with them, i realized how apart from carrying out their daily heavy professional chores, they found solace in voicing their opinions on issues close to their heart. And, thus each one of them possessed a blog spot. A "Brain Cooler", as they would call it.

Somewhere down my heart i realized how much i had been ignoring my daily food - "thinking & creativity". And maybe that is the reason, i would end up feeling a little lost at times. I guess we all need a bit of food for thought to keep us going on - maybe a kick within us to be a little more aware of what is happening around us and at least be able to form an opinion on it. Freedom of speech & expression as we call it - Dare you snatch it away!!!!!!